


twice the charm

by orphan_account



Category: Deadpool (2016)
Genre: Co-Written, F/M, Ficlet Collection
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-12
Updated: 2016-03-12
Packaged: 2018-05-26 05:18:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6225493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Wade and Vanessa are happy together and in love and nothing is bad. Or, a series of random fics for anyone else out there who also fell in love with these two complete life ruiners after seeing the movie.</p><p>co-written with gabewhale</p>
            </blockquote>





	twice the charm

**Author's Note:**

> me and my friend gabriel (gabewhale on here) have been writing a few things for wade and vanessa together ever since we both fell in love with them. there's not nearly enough carpool fics and so this is going to be a series of short stories about them being the gross in love dorks they are.
> 
> all of wade's parts were written by gabriel, all of vanessa's parts were written by me.
> 
> post movie!

The groceries she's holding feel much heavier than usual as Vanessa shifts them around in her arms. The sound of her heels clicking against the ground can't even block out her heart pounding- she doesn't know why she's so nervous, she _never_ gets nervous. Then again, she's never exactly done what she's about to do for someone before.

She had told Wade she wouldn't be out long, she was only going to pick them up a pizza for dinner and a few other things, and she had insisted on going by herself.

Not that it took much convincing. Going out isn't necessarily Wade's thing anymore, Vanessa knows that and for the most part she tries not to push it.

He's still getting used to being back home and she's alright dealing with it. She already knew it would take some time. Usually he's the one who's gone more than her anyways- Vanessa doesn't know where he goes exactly or what he does. Weird super hero stuff, she guesses, or _whatever_ he wants to call it- she usually just doesn't ask.

But tonight she's already made it clear she wants him home, for one important reason Vanessa hasn't let him in on yet.

She's tired of the two of them beating around the bush, not saying flat out what _they_ are anymore. It's confusing and pointless considering they're obviously _something,_ but she doesn't know if that something is just _together_ or _engaged still_ or _what_ and Wade acts like he doesn't know either. Since he clearly isn't going to bring it up any time soon, she will. But because going, _"So, are we still getting hitched someday or what?"_ isn't exactly the smoothest way to go about bringing it up, Vanessa's decided she'll simply have to be the one to propose this time.

She balances the bags so she can pull out her keys to their apartment and unlock the door.

"Honey, I'm home," Vanessa calls out playfully, kicking her shoes off then hanging her jacket up. She sets the food and other bags on the table nearby, pulling out the ring pop she bought, only to hide it behind her back. "And I have a surprise for you."

.

Ever since Wade has been back home he's been at a loss of what to do with his life.

He's back where he knows he always should've been, with Vanessa in their home. He murdered the fuck out of Francis Mcdouchepants and now plain mercenary work just looks like kindergarten shit to him.

He spends a lot of him time now visiting with Colossus and Negasonic, thinking about considering even _contemplating_ on joining up with the x-men. Wade still doesn't seem himself as much of a hero.

He enjoys killing the not-so innocent, fuck that sparing an enemy's life bullshit. If the bastard deserves to die, they will get shot in the fucking face. Training with the pair is fun, though. He favors sparring with Negasonic; but he gets the most fun out of busting Colossus' beautiful steely balls whenever he rejects invitation after invitation on teaming up with them.

And you'll usually find Wade out doing plain old mercenary work when he's not with the two of them. He's not sure on the direction his life will take, but he is sure about one thing: that whatever happens, it will be what is best for Vanessa's sake. She's not a damsel, but anything to keep her safe and out of harms way.

Currently, he's figuring out how to get out of harms way himself; because that's exactly where his ass will be if he's not home soon.

He promised Vanessa he'd be home tonight but he had some difficulty in beheading some big mafia boss who had a hit on an innocent man. The whole ordeal left him full of bullet holes, cursing and leaving a trail of blood back to his apartment. He was mostly healed up by the time he got there, and that's when he spotted his lover, arm full of groceries and about to head up to their place.

"Shitfuck!" Wade exclaims before booking it around the back of the building and hauling ass up the fire escape. He doesn't know how he managed to do it, but he squeezes his ass through the window and falls to the floor. The next thing he does is rip off his holey, bloody costume and hops right into the shower.

That's when he hears her sweet, angelic voice. He breathes a sigh of relief and laughs to himself as he leans his head against the wall of the shower.

"I'll be right out, angelface," Wade responds as he quickly washes himself off the best he can.

He's winded and out of breath when he steps out a couple of minutes later, padding wet feet across the apartment with a towel around his waist.

He walks right up to Vanessa and greets her with a kiss, "Hey sugarlips, what's the surprise?" He asks, peering around at all of the food.

.

Vanessa's happy to return the kiss, but at the same time she makes sure the candy is safe behind her back and out of his sight. "You'll see," she sing-songs, glad to see he's momentarily distracted by the food at least. "Get some clothes on first. This is a surprise that does _not_ require you to be naked, believe it or not."

She crosses the room so she can wait on their bed, holding the ring pop in front of her as she does and then setting it behind her back again once she sits down.

She's glad to find Wade has at least halfway listened to her- and she almost wouldn't have even noticed he had been gone at all if on her way to the bed she hadn't seen the very clearly worn costume on the floor of the bathroom, a sight that no longer bothers her. Much.

"By the way, sweetheart?" Vanessa hums as she leans back against the bed's headboard. "Next time you sneak out, don't forget to hide the bloody costume."

Her voice doesn't have any real anger in it, if anything she's only picking- Vanessa isn't surprised anyway, she's just glad he's gotten back home in time. She's not sure she can work up the nerve to do this again if she doesn't get to take the opportunity tonight. It's something that's not a big deal but it is absolutely a big deal all at the same time and her stomach hasn't stopped twisting since she bought the small piece of candy.

She's never been a very touchy feely emotional person with someone else- not until Wade came along, at least, and so maybe that's part of the reason why she hasn't brought up the question that's been bothering her for weeks. There's never been someone else in her life who she would even think of doing something so serious as _marrying_ them and with not knowing where she and Wade still stand driving her crazy, Vanessa knows she has to do this.

If this were years ago, Vanessa guesses she probably wouldn't be feeling as nervous. But with Wade being gone for so long and then suddenly coming back into her life, it's almost like the feeling of going through getting to know him and being with him for the first time all over again.

And then there's always the possibility that he would say no - a possibility she's been trying to avoid thinking about.

"Oh, put on the boxers with the hearts on them," she suddenly says, both in a way to keep the mood light and to distract herself from her own thoughts. "Those are my favorite and this is a very important surprise, you should be wearing my favorite."

.

"Aw, so we're not putting balls in holes tonight?" Wade says with a pout and looks disappointed when Vanessa tells him to get dressed; but like a well-trained puppy, he obeys her.

He skips over to the dresser, pulling out (hah) his batman t-shirt (double hah, this is a Marvel universe), the matching boxers and a pair of sweatpants. He lets the towel around his waist drop to the floor as he busies himself with slipping into the shirt. He throws his head back and shouts, "MOTHER FUCK!" When Vanessa points out that he left his fucking suit on the bathroom floor.

 _Smooth as Bruce Wayne himself, Wade,_ he thinks to himself, _Batman would never adopt you into his robins nest._

He quickly retrieves the abused suit and tosses it into the hamper. Then he makes a bee-line for the dresser again when his love requests he wear the boxers with hearts printed on them.

"We are just bein' all sortsa in charge and bossypants, tonight, aren't we?" Wade jokes as he's stepping in and pulling up the boxer shorts. He gives the sweatpants one look and tosses them into the corner of the room before diving into their bed and lying on his stomach.

Wade grins at Vanessa as he rests his head onto his folded hands. He swings his legs back and forth, trying to pinpoint why she's being very particular about everything today. He is really itching to know what the surprise is, but he can't even take a hint at what it will be; or better yet, what brought it on.

"What's the surprise, beautiful?" He questions as he scoots forward to rest his head on her thigh. All of this is really... out of the blue, to him.

And for a brief moment, a thought pops into his head: **she's pregnant.** It's the only thing that makes sense in the moment.

Before Wade can even debunk the notion he jumps up to stand on the bed, hands raised up above his head.

"WaitwaitwaitwaitWAIT a fucking minute, are you _pregnant?!_ Are we having a deadbaby?!" He gasps when he realizes what he's said, slapping his hands over his mouth. "Oh... oh, not a deadbaby... a babypool," Wade's speaking quietly now with wide eyes, "Are we having a tiny babypool?"

.

Even while she's trying to keep her cool, Vanessa is still able to use the time to take in just how absolutely adorable her boyfriend-or fiance-or, well, _whatever_ he is, she's about to figure that out-can be. His loud attitude, mostly seen as overbearing to others, she knows, has always been charming to her and ever since he left and came back she only finds herself appreciating those parts of him more than before (probably because those parts of him have gotten even _worse_ than before, but, details).

Thinking about things like that makes it easier to ignore her nerves.

Wade's face, Wade's voice, Wade in general. Even if he says no things will still be okay, she tries to convince herself, because even without a label she's still grateful for whatever this thing they have is. She'll be totally, one hundred percent fine if he does not react in the way she wants him to. No doubt about it.

And that's total bullshit, and Vanessa knows it, but whatever.

Just as she's about to open her mouth and ask the question, he suddenly jumps up and says the _craziest_ thing he could possibly say, even for _Wade,_ and all Vanessa can do is leave her mouth hanging open in shock.

A baby?! A baby is _so_ not on the list of things she wants to think about right now, how could he even think that's what she's going to say?

Once she's over her initial shock, Vanessa throws her head back and laughs.

"Oh my God! Are you insane-baby, I'm not, we're _not_ -" She shakes her head, trying to catch her breath, "No! No deadbaby _or_ babypool."

Vanessa leans forward to grab his hands and yank him back down closer to her. "There are most definitely no buns in this oven, okay? I wanted to talk to you about something else. Or ask you something, really."

She lets out a deep breath, her face turning much more serious than before.

"We haven't really brought it up and I guess if someone is going to, it's going to have to be me," Vanessa's rambling now as she moves to grab the ring pop behind her back again, "so, really, what I wanted to ask was... did you still, uh.." She finally pulls the candy out from behind her, taking off the wrapping so she can grab his hand and slide the ring pop onto his finger, "Did you still want to marry me?"

.

Wade is momentarily distracted by the way she looks when she laughs to be thinking about their future child. He's not dying anymore, and he doesn't know if he ever _will_ , but he's remembering how she looks in the moment; the way her eyes crinkle and how beautiful her laugh is. If he could make her laugh like that for the rest of her days he would never stop talking.

But the reality is that he can get real annoying real fast. So he'll settle for the occasional gut-buster he puts out.

He can't help but feel a slight pant of disappointment (and at the same time, relief) when she tells him she's not pregnant. Wade couldn't imagine what he'd do if the poor kid turned out to have his ugly mug, or if he could live with himself for it. He shakes away those thoughts and allows himself to be tugged down onto the bed with Vanessa.

He sits with his legs criss-crossed, and scoots close to her again. "Okay, no babypool. Ask away."

And what she brings up is not something he had anticipated. Like, at all. Static fills his head as she speaks, and he swears he's trying to listen, but can't really make out what she's saying. He hears that last part and breaks out into the goofiest grin at the candy ring on his finger.

Wade chuckles, and then breaks out into full manic-like laughter. He falls onto his side, and if anything it's more out of glee than out of amusement.

"I'm sorry, angel, I just- yes! Yes, baby, I still want to marry you!" Wade is giggling as he sits back up to scoop up Vanessa face into his hands to plant a kiss onto her lips. "Shit, I feel like an ass, were you confused 'Nessa? You're my best girl, and I know it's been awhile but- fuck, I'm sorry, the marriage thing was always on. It was on since the day we met."

.

Slight confusion tugs at Vanessa, an almost but not quite frown settles on her face, her nose scrunches up as she watches him react- it's not in the way she _expected_ but it's also not necessarily a _bad_ reaction. It's hard to tell with Wade sometimes.

And then her heart feels like it's about to break out of her chest (in the good break-out-of-your-chest way, naturally) when he finally lets something out of his mouth that's _not_ laughter.

Vanessa almost rolls her eyes at herself, so wrapped up in her thoughts she doesn't even react fast enough to kiss him back. _Of course_ the marriage thing is still on. Is she really turning into one of those people, the kind that lets herself _worry_ over something for weeks and doesn't say anything about it until she's almost ready to explode? The way Wade reacts, so sure about it, makes her realize she's been having this silent debate of what they _are_ or _aren't_ all on her own.

She's stuck between mentally scolding herself with thoughts like _you will NOT be that girl who lets silly things like this bother her for so long instead of speaking up about it from the start_ and telling herself at the same time, _there was a good reason to be confused,_ damn straight there's nothing wrong with her not knowing for sure, he'd left her for years after all- and in the end she just decides to focus on the most important thing at the moment instead of her conflicting thoughts: her _fiance._

"I just... wanted to make sure," Vanessa settles on saying out loud, that annoying nervous feeling leaving her almost instantly. She looks back over at him, narrowing her eyes playfully. "Hey, quit laughing! Your guess was _way_ more fucked up than what I actually said, you know."

She reaches forward to snatch the ring pop off his finger and pop it in her mouth in one quick motion. "So you've wanted to marry me since you met me? I was _that_ good?"

.

"Vaness', I already had a proposal lined up the moment you performed a death grip on poor Fat Gandalfs balls." Wade jokingly admits to her. He whines mockingly when the ringpop is pulled from his finger but is grinning at her as she pops it into her mouth; and that's when he thinks to himself, _There may not be a babypool now, but just you wait future Mrs. Wilson._

It feels like Christmas Day all over again. Like he never left. Wade is feeling just as giddy now as he had then, even if he knows this is probably just another commercial break.

He moves to grab the polaroid camera from their bedside table, only instead of pulling Vanessa in to take a picture of the two of them together, he snaps one of just her alone. "Perfect." He beams at her as he shakes the photo.

Wade still feels bad for letting her sit in limbo about where they stand. He was so sure about them and their future together that he just didn't think about her own feelings. He wouldn't blame her for having her doubts, how could he? Wade was the one who couldn't cowboy up and come home because he believed she wouldn't have him. He chuckles as he realizes that they're both idiots in their own way.

Wade then flops over to lay on the mattress and stare at the photo he's taken of his Vanessa, holding it out so that he could simultaneously stare at the real-life thing next to him. He hums contently, slapping the photo over his heart and hugging it there.

"I'm gonna whack it to this while you're at work," Wade sing-songs with a smile, and then adds, "Vanessa Wilson."

.

Vanessa snickers at the memory of Fat Gandalf and silently praises herself- that's still a good insult, she thinks, not noticing Wade taking a picture of her until she sees the flash and she gasps.

"I wasn't ready, asshole." She pretends to complain, setting the ring pop and its wrapper on the bedside table for the time being.

She raises her eyebrows at what he says next, a smirk crossing her lips. "Oh yeah?" The smirk turns into a genuine smile as Vanessa continues to look at him- and then what he's actually said registers in her mind and she swears she can feel her heart skip a beat. It still hasn't exactly hit her yet, that she knows, like _really_ actually knows now, that someday she'll be able to say she's married to him. Vanessa had thought that dream was ripped away from her before and to have it back is more than she could ask for.

"Hey, wait a minute," Vanessa says suddenly. "Who says we're going with _your_ last name? Maybe I want to keep mine."

She moves so she's laying on her stomach next to him, propping her elbow on his chest while resting her chin in her hand. "Wade Carlysle." She uses her best 'very-important-announcer-person' impersonation voice. Then, after she thinks on it, Vanessa wrinkles her nose like she's caught wind of a bad smell.

"Hm. Okay, no. Don't like that." She lays back on the mattress too, pressing a kiss to the side of his jaw. "Vanessa Wilson it is, then."

.

Wade sighs when he feels her lips press against his jaw, humming blissfully as he sinks further into the mattress. Nobody else could ever make him feel this way. He's so fond of her that he'd happily take her name. Hell, he can't even help but grin at the suggestion- he doesn't think it sounds bad at all! He could see himself scribbling 'Wade Carlysle' all over his drawing pad like a school kid with a crush on their teacher.

His toes curl at the thought. He probably will.

"Baby, we could change it to the ugliest fucking name in the word like," Wade pauses to think, "'Picklesmire', or some shit," Wade chuckles at the name.

He clears his throat when he's done laughing, sighing as he walks his fingers over to meet with Vanessa's; intertwining them together as he holds her hands. And his heart swells as he stares into her eyes, the same pair he sees whenever he closes his eyes to rest. The same pair he never thought he'd see again.

Wade is elated to have to the chance to marry her again. Especially after all of the insecurities and the doubts that he had. He wants nothing more in this world than to just get hitched to his perfect girl. To make their life beautiful. As he ponders this, he gives her hand a gentle squeeze, presses a kiss to it for good measure, and continues.

"As long as I get to call you my wife, as long as I can say that I'm married to who is without a doubt, the most _gorgeous_ girl in the galaxy, I'd be so damn happy. Baby, a life with you is all I want." And Wade means it.

Vanessa was it, she was the _one,_ and he knew it even before the words _"And a low fat desert."_ fell past her lips that night. Wade wanted to dance with her for the rest of his immortal life, dance so hard that they formed into one giant mercenary stripper, like in that one cartoon he caught a glimpse of the other day. The one with the rocks.

"I want to turn into a giant woman with you." Wade mumurs without thinking. He's sure Vanessa is already giving him a weird look by the time he realizes what he's said, so he moves to change the subject, fast.

"What I'm trying to say is, that it doesn't matter to me. _But,_ Vanessa Wilson does sound fucking _fantastic._ It makes me tingle." And as Wade is saying that his whole body shudders.

Wade and Vanessa motherfucking Wilson it is.

**Author's Note:**

> the next one will be posted when gabriel writes the starter for it in the next five billion years :)


End file.
